Mitsokiscratch
by Clear Free-Flowing Liquid
Summary: This story completely blows. Completely blows. There's a better version up. Also, I have no knowledge of the show Catscratch whatsoever, except that Kevin McDonald is in it, and he's funny.


Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters except Mitsoki.

Another Disclaimer: Mitsoki is based on me, however, this is _not_ a self-insertion. Mitsoki is much better than I am.

Mitsokiscratch: Chapter 1: You Don't Know Jack, or Mitsoki

"SIT!" WHAM! Business as usual for the first couple of anime. Or was it? Inuyasha crawled to his feet.

"Do it again," he requested.

"SIT!" Kagome screamed.

"Again," Inuyasha demanded.

"That's ten in a row. Your body can't handle any more," said Kagome.

"Come on. If I'm ever going to kill Naraku, I need to learn how to take a beating," Inuyasha debated. Since he and Kagome finally admitted their mutual love for each other, this was part of Inuyasha's everyday training ritual.

"You're sure?" asked Kagome.

"Yes," answered Inuyasha.

"SIT!" Kagome yelled. WHAM!

"Ow! My neck! Make it stop!" screamed Inuyasha.

"What kind of pain is it?" asked Kagome.

"Like it's on fire!" responded Inuyasha.

"I think you, or I really, pinched your nerve," observed Kagome.

"Can you fix it?" asked Inuyasha, his eyes starting to well up with tears.

"No, but I can make it hurt less," responded Kagome, reaching into her first-aid kit and pulling out two Ibuprofen tablets, "Swallow these, don't chew, just swallow."

"How am I supposed to do that?" asked Inuyasha.

"Here, take a drink of this water, and just pretend the pills aren't there," Kagome advised.

"Okay," Inuyasha said, all vigour gone from his voice. He quickly swallowed the tablets, "It's not helping."

"Well it takes a while," said Kagome.

"Hey, I know of a treatment that can fix a pinched nerve," said Miroku, "I have all the ingredients except one herb, which grows near here. I can go get it right now."

"I'll come with you," said Sango.

"Me too," said Kagome.

"No, stay here," protested Inuyasha, "If I'm alone, I'll have nothing to think about but the pain."

"Okay," said Kagome.

"Well, we're off," said Sango, walking away.

"Bye," said Kagome.

Sometime later, the two were walking through a field. There was nothing growing in the field, it was just a wide open space. Off in the distance, they saw a figure. Upon further inspection, the figure was distinctly a demon. He was walking towards them. He had a fluid walk, and he appeared to have hair almost identical to cat's hair, only longer. It was burning red. As he approached within ten feet of them, Miroku pulled out a sutra. He threw it at the demon, with the standard yell of, "Sacred sutra!" The sutra hit the demon, and there was a half-second pause, which seemed like forever, before the demon peered up at it nonchalantly and pulled it off.

"Kama Sutra!" the demon yelled, glancing at Sango. Again, another half-second pause before all three started laughing.

"How is it you survived my Sutra without even flinching?" asked Miroku.

"I don't know, I was just born with the gift," said the demon, "it's a good thing too, because if I wasn't, you would've just taken an innocent life."

"Sorry, I can be hasty like that," said Miroku.

"You mean you've done that to other demons?" asked the demon in shock.

"Well, now that you mention it, I guess I have," said Miroku.

"You sick, sick human being!" the demon objected.

"What? We usually get the right guy," Miroku defended.

"It's still wrong to assume like that," lectured the demon.

"Help me out here Sango," requested Miroku.

"He's right, we can be a bit overzealous sometimes," said Sango.

"Just promise you'll never do it again," said the demon.

"Sounds reasonable. Okay, fine, I'll think more first," said Miroku.

"What is your name anyways?" asked Sango.

"I am the inimitable cat demon Mitsoki," responded the demon, "and who are you?"

"I am the monk Miroku," said Miroku.

"I'm Sango, the demon-sla- I mean, just Sango," said Sango.

"It's okay, I understand that there are quite a few demons who need slaying. I, however, am not one of them," said Mitsoki.

"We're looking for an herb to help our injured friend," said Sango.

"Oh? What's it called?" asked Mitsoki.

"It's just common thyme," answered Miroku.

"I happen to have some growing out back," said Mitsoki, "I love growing herbs and spices. Just follow me, and I'll give you some. I'm sorry, but this year's crop didn't come in too well."

"That's fine," said Sango, then she turned to Miroku, "isn't it?"

"Yes, I only need a little bit," answered Miroku.

"Well, follow me," said Mitsoki, taking off in the eastern direction.

"Not so fast!" yelled Miroku. Mitsoki stopped cold.

"What?" he asked.

"Nothing, I just wanted you to slow down," said Miroku.

"I thought you meant 'not so fast' as in 'wait a second'," explained Mitsoki.

"No, just with less speed," said Miroku. They continued at a slower pace until Mitsoki took them to a house. It was fairly nice, though not very big. The one thing that was huge, however, was the dazzling garden behind his house.

"Okay, it should be around here," said Mitsoki, leading them to a patch of thyme. About half of it was dead, but the other half looked promising.

"This is beautiful, how do you do this?" asked Sango.

"I just have a strong interest in macrobiotics," said Mitsoki.

"I'm not familiar with that term," said Miroku.

"I try to grow as much of my own food as possible," said Mitsoki, "and I don't eat meat, which I know is weird, because I'm a cat."

"I can imagine," said Sango.

"Well, I've got your thyme," said Mitsoki, handing them a small basket of the herb.

"Thanks, is there anything we can do for you in return?" asked Sango.

Mitsoki skipped what he really wanted to say, and instead opted for, "I'd kind of like to meet your injured friend," said Mitsoki, "how did he get injured?"

"Umm… training," said Miroku, skipping the long story.

"Really? Is he an athlete?" asked Mitsoki.

"No, more of an adventurer," answered Sango.

"Really?" asked Mitsoki.

"We all are," answered Miroku.

"Are there more of you?" asked Mitsoki.

"Yes, there are three more of us, other than the injured friend," said Sango.

"Actually, now that you mention it, there's another cat demon with us," said Miroku, "although she's more cat than anything else."

So can I meet them?" asked Mitsoki.

"I don't see any reason why not," said Sango.

"Well then, let's go," said Mitsoki, "where are they?"

"They're off this way," said Miroku, walking in the direction of the clearing where their friends rested.

They got there in about ten minutes, and walked in to see Inuyasha and Kagome making out on the ground.

"Who's there?" Inuyasha asked, glancing up and getting a jolt from his neck, "GAHHHHH!"

"It's just us," said Miroku.

"Who's that behind you?" asked Kagome.

"I'm Mitsoki, the cat demon," responded Mitsoki.

"He brought the herb," said Sango.

"Hurry up, apply it!" cried Inuyasha.

"Just a second," said Miroku. He pulled out a bowl and began mixing herbs. Before long, he had a rich, creamy lather. He applied it to Inuyasha's neck and started to chant. He pulled out a sutra.

"What are you doing with that?" asked Inuyasha with a distinct tone of worry in his voice.

"Relax, this isn't a regular sutra, it's strictly for healing. No purifying, I promise," assured Miroku. He lay the sutra on Inuyasha's neck. "This, on the other hand, may hurt a bit," he said, cranking Inuyasha's neck. Inuyasha let out a scream, then opened his eyes.

"Hey, the pain is gone," he said.

"You will feel some pain in your neck for a while," said Miroku, "but I can't do anything about that. I'm a monk, not a Shiatsu massage therapist."

"I know a bit about Shiatsu massage," piped up Mitsoki.

"Really? You know, that's the one thing we've been missing this whole time. We can fight, we can heal, we can do almost everything, but none of us can rehab injuries," said Sango.

"Well, to be fair, I'm not very good," admitted Mitsoki.

"That's okay. We could use someone like you," said Kagome.

"Yeah," agreed Shippo.

"How about it? Will you help us kill Naraku?" asked Miroku.

"Naraku? Of course. His demons are always eating my plants," said Mitsoki.

"Well then, come with us," said Shippo.

"Okay, I guess I could leave home for a little while," said Mitsoki.

"Mew," said Kirara.

"You really think so?" asked Mitsoki.

"What did she say?" asked Sango.

"That she thinks I'd make a good addition to your team," responded Mitsoki.

End of Chapter

Author's Notes: This is my first Inuyasha fic, or even anime fic at all. Please, no flames. Review though, even if you don't like the story. I love reviews.


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